Three Trips: Final Trip to Zambia
What is The Third Trip?
Remember my trip to Africa last summer? Well, I do…some of it. Since the third trip is what we remember, I can honestly say that my memory it already pretty threadbare and faded until I look at photos. What I do hold onto is the umbrella of feeling and practice that kept me grounded for those two weeks. I would call that umbrella ‘being present and breathing’. Rinse and repeat. Here’s what I learned:
What is Being Present?
Being present is staying with the strong emotions like fear, love, joy, uncertainty, or anger without passing judgment for feeling them or disconnecting through distraction. Sitting in the muck of muddled feelings. Swimming and paddling through them, sometimes just barely with your head above water. I have an Olympic gold medal in dissociation. Dissociation is one way my mind has coped with stress or trauma. There are also everyday experiences of dissociation like when I’m lost in a book or film to the point of losing awareness of what’s around me. Or when I drive home and can’t remember what route I took to get there. It’s a gift to be able to dissociate at times. It’s a curse in other times.
In Zambia, I surrendered my cell phone for 10 days. No internet, no texting, no connection to the familiar. I was seized with panic to give it up. I was so far away from home and often felt pulled into the cesspool of fear and worry about what if something happened to me? To someone in my family? How would they know??? I repeated a mantra to myself every time I felt scared, “No news is really good news”. Someone would get in touch with the staff if it was an emergency. I had shared my itinerary with my family and the trip coordinator. I was not lost to the world, even if it felt I was swimming in it alone. I stayed present by noticing I was scared and repeating the mantra until I knew it was true.
Why is Breathing Important?
Breathing keeps us connected to our body. I haven’t always known how to breathe the right way. I have held my breath many times…I find myself doing it daily. My breath can be shallow and from the chest. But, breathing from our belly can decrease stress, lower heartbeat and blood pressure (https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/relaxation-techniques-breath-control-helps-quell-errant-stress-response).
Focused breathing allows us to disengage from distracting thoughts and sensations. It's especially helpful if you tend to hold in your stomach (like many people do), like me.
Every morning in Zambia, we would meet as a group to do mediation and breathing. Not only did it set the intention for the day, but it also gave me a tool to use as I traveled to schools, orphanages, villages, and centers that were so out of my comfort zone and familiarity. It supported me in holding babies with no parents, play catch with teenage boys living on the street, sing with school children, read books to all ages and let girls and boys braid my very short hair with their playground dust covered fingers. I would repeat the mantra “Be Present”. “Love them with all the love you have.” Breathe. Love. Rinse. Repeat. Breathe.
It worked! How do I know? Because I remember the peace and calm of each day. My presence in the moment. The feelings of joy and love from the children are forever stitched into my heart. My love for them is part of the air I breathe daily. I have fond memories of the trip to Zambia, made even brighter because I was there.
What are you doing today to stay present?
Have you tried box breathing, bubble breathing, or watching a gif to slow down (try the one at the top of this post) your breathing and be present? Connect with yourself and let me know how it goes.
If you want to know more about breathing practice, meditation, or presence - attend one of our upcoming share shops dedicated to these practices.
